Having Done All, Stand. Eph 6:13

Wah, Wah, Wah. Boo hoo. Woe is me.

How's that?

In the post I just published, I mentioned Kelli's surgery was postponed, the dog bit my kid, I want to quit my job...what else?
Oh yeah, Josh and Elijah are sick. This is a parade of pain and sadness.
Got to fight with my neighbor again. Not the way I'd like. He runs in the house when I just stand there and accept his inevitable challenge. I'm not walking away anymore. If he wants to fight, so be it. I'm in. I'm done listening to him. And it's kinda funny to watch him walk as fast as he can into the house all the while telling me how he's going to come down and beat me up. I just wait a short time for him to come back out. He doesn't.
Today's fun was over a stake I put in the ground at the corner of the property. I should call it the hot corner. He's obsessed with that little part of my yard. He thinks its his or at least part of the right-of-way. He's wrong, of course. That corner actually marks the beginning of the right-of-way. So anyway, he piles his bagged leaves and piles of sticks right on the line. He has a small boulder that he rolled there. During the winter, he leaves that stuff there. So, I need a tall stake that I can use as a reference when snow-blowing. I don't want to hit that rock. It'll damage my snow blower. So I put the stake there. He went nuts the second I was out there. I don't think I hit it twice with the hammer before he came out. Naturally he told me I'd have to move it when he got his dumpster this weekend. Been hearing about the dumpster for maybe two years now. I don't have to move it because the dumpster can't go where the stake is...it's my property and no dumpster is going there. The funniest part of the whole thing is he says I'm blocking the right-of-way. The stake I put in is about 4 inches from the boulder he put there last summer. So even if I did remove the stake, his boulder is still there. What's interesting is I hardly care anymore. Used to be I'd be all stressed out for a couple days. Not now. I figure he might do something to my car or maybe pull the stake out like he did before. Whatever. I took a picture of the stake in the ground so I have a reference. That was funny too. He went ballistic when I took the picture.
So we have that nonsense and then the boys come home. Kelli and I are planning child care for tomorrow. The she calls the Dr to see if she can take her pain meds through the night. The topic of thrush comes up and he tells her she can't have surgery while she has thrush. She couldn't be more disappointed.
Then Josh says he is tired. Take his temp, yup...fever. AWESOME! Elijah too. Why not?

Lily...what to do? I want to get rid of her. She stresses me out under the best circumstances. Now she's bit one of my kids. She's always been stubborn. Now she's becoming possessive. I don't like it. We have a family that is interested in her. But Kelli doesn't want to give her up just yet. We need to talk.

But, we're still here. God is still God. And I'm not giving up. I have in the past. I'd tell God he sucks because He isn't doing what I want. He can't be real if my life is going this wrong. Or He just doesn't care about me. I'm trying to learn what I can now. I know I will learn later.

I am too tired to think. Goodnight.


Thanks for visiting.

Oct. 16
This is a pretty rough time for me and mine. Spring was a pretty good time for us. The Lord worked a miracle and we were able to get our home updated...roof, siding, windows, fence, the shower wall fixed. I got a decent raise at work so we got rid of my car, which I was learning to hate, and got Kelli a mini-van. Wow, that thing is amazing. Totally love it. As the summer wore on, things got more stressful. Of course, the neighbor could only hold out so long. Flipping us off, cursing at Kelli. I reported him to the police. We were going to go to a lawyer, but never did. At this point, I'm not going to bother. He can curse all he wants. I've called him out twice and he won't come. So, he's just gonna spew his garbage and nothing more.
Kelli and I have fought a lot. Don't really have a good reason. I guess I'm more stressed than normal. Work is horrible. I have 2 full time jobs. One of them, Reticle Engineer, I started in March. It's supposed to be a part time job if you ask management. Though they admit it can't actually be done part time. But that's what it is on the books. Even still, I own one of the most difficult processes in Lithography. So how could I add even a part time job to that? But that's how it is. For me and for many of my co-workers. I really like the Reticle job. I don't really care any more. I LOVE my job. More than any I've ever had. And I love my manager. So, I'll feel bad if I leave, but I want a job that I don't bring home. One that doesn't ask me to make million dollar decisions for a salary that's barely adequate for the Hudson Valley.
So while all that's going on, our dog has developed some sort of allergy. She can't stop chewing/licking herself..mostly paws. So, she's been wearing a cone and taking meds since mid-August. And she hasn't learned a thing since we got her in June. I don't like this dog. She stresses me out. We'll keep her because Kelli and the kids like her. I have no patience for a dog. So, of course, we're dog sitting this weekend. A 9-week-old lab. She's peed and pooped in the house several times. You can imagine how that works in my head.
UPDATE: Oct 19. So, Lily bit Elijah in the face last night. It might have been her claw, can't really tell. He's fine. Small cut under his eye. One on his lip. The rest looks like a scrape. Now I want to hit the dog with a shovel...but I won't. There is one family that is interested in her, but Kelli isn't sure she wants to get rid of the dog.
My 5-year-old is still insane. Jumping, spinning, falling all day, every day. Now he's got something going on where he's wetting his pants and bed. He doesn't even seem to care. He'll sit in his wet pants til we notice.
The 2-year-old is in a big-boy bed, which is exciting. He still isn't sleeping through the night. That's why we put him in the big-boy bed. See, Kelli is sick.
Kelli has been battling back pain for a few weeks. I thought it might be from sitting on the couch and turning her body 90-degrees to use the computer. Not great for your spine. Then she started having abdominal pain. Finally she couldn't take it any more and we went to the emergency room (she wouldn't make a Dr appt). After much testing and two or three Dr appts, she found out her gall bladder isn't working any more. So, she'll have to have surgery next week.
UPDATE: Oct. 19. Kelli's surgery has been postponed due to the thrush she got for taking an antibiotic last week. Another week like this for her.
In the middle of that, I backed Kelli's shiny, black van into a pole at the mall. So, had to take that in for repairs. $600 by the time we're done with the rental. Funny thing is, I probably could have gotten away without the rental. I've been working from home for the past week to take care of the kids and chauffeur Kelli around. I think I've done 15 loads of laundry in the past week. I'm down to 2 or 3 loads. I'd really like to finish them today. Declare victory in one thing. Of course I haven't put my or Kelli's clothes away. But they are folded neatly-ish. It's an improvement.
I'm basically losing my mind. My body is wrecked. I haven't been to church in 2 weeks.

Not to be selfish, but do you ever wonder if the trials someone close to you might be as much or more for your benefit? I was talking to a good friend the other day about this. I wonder if my family isn't going through this just to teach me to give up. I give up all the time. I tell God, "I can't do this. I can't take any more. I can't carry any more weight." "I know," He says. "You know this stuff...
Mat 11:28  Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

I do know that. I just don't know how to apply it. I'm used to carrying the weight of my world. Giving it up feels like quitting or shirking. Not my style. But, you know, rest sounds pretty good.


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